1. |
Parkpark Safety Tips
02:12
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welcome stranger
to the park
there are many things that set our land apart
so please listen
to these tricks
yes you'll be fine if you follow all these tips
stay on the path (don't leave the path)
put out your smokes (don't smoke here!)
and don't mess around with any mountain goats (they're wiley tricksters)
mind your business
leave no trace (that one's important)
and don't you let the faefolk see your face
no jumping on the plastic slide
don't swim inside your best friend's mind
and when outside make sure there is a place to hide yes all the time
don't take the gift that's offered
don't commune with any altars
do not hug washer barajas
and when near the dumpster mind the flies
keep your chin up
take it slow (nature does not hurry)
make sure know which way you need to go
bring your own water
check for ticks (nasty buggers)
yes you'll be fine! just memorize this list:
no wearing red at half past nine
don't talk to trees using your mind
and though you may jump up and down don't wave yr arms from side to side
no drinking from old faithful
no investigating fables
and kids always watch your parents do not let them stray out of your sight
the caves are all off limits and so is the mountain's crown
and u shouldn't dilly dally if the bison are around
never linger too long when you hear a rumbling sound
and make sure that you bury any food waste 3 feet down
put out your fires
before you go (we WILL find you)
and know only the things you need to know
it's so simple
if you act like this
yes you'll be fine if you mind this short list
yes you'll be fine if you follow all these tips
yes you'll be fine! (oh you'll be fine)
please enjoy your trip
disclaimer:
yellowstone national park and the ballpark and the ranger's association of yellowstone national parkpark consider this advance notice and thus are not responsible for anything that might happen to you during your stay
thank you very much
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2. |
Gone Swimming
01:25
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I'm going swimming
I'm going swimming in the flood
The water's rising
But the chaos makes it fun
The moss grows fast in all this water
Gives good grips to our cleats
We're gonna dunk 'em under if they can't take our heat
I'm going swimming
If I had flippers I'd put them here
[whoops!]
Maybe we should get on that
After we emerge Champions this year
Yeah the floods just keep on rising
But we are rising too
Overcoming all our standings
BNN you're gonna EAT that [-2] (affectionate)
I'm going swimming
I'm going swimming in the flood
I get swept off the base
I take a lap elsewhere and back for fun
The moss grows fast in all this water
Gives good grips to our cleats
Weatherman can't keep us from the finals when he's on our team
I'm going swimming
I'm going swimming in the flood
The water's rising
But the chaos makes it fun
(shouted from a distance: HEY I THINK I FOUND ATLANTIS)
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3. |
The Salt in the Hold
02:54
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I sailed out of Pugwash
Rode low with the tide
Spent three months at sea
With no landing in sight
The waves rolled me over
In the brine and the cold
But the ocean is nothing
To the salt in my hold
When the trade winds blow wimdy
And the ports are all closed
There's nowhere to turn
With all the salt in the hold
The Sun 2 beat down
On the deck where I lay
As I tried to get back
For opening day
I sat becalmed while the
Season turned round
When I returned home
There's no berth to be found
The weather's been fair
When I'd wished it to blow
There's naught to be done
With the salt in the hold
Now I wander lonely
In the cold latitudes
Sour grapes for drinking
And crow pie for food
The whole wide world over
I doomed me to roam
'Cause I'm overladen
With the salt in my hold
It's not what'll cure me
When the moss turns to mold
There's nothing to earn
From all the salt in the hold
When the trade winds blow wimdy
And the ports are all closed
There's nowhere to turn
With all the salt in the hold
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4. |
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~Chorus~
Here's to ol' Sutton Picklestein
A player cut down in their brine!
Never did follow the posted trail signs
We're wishing ye only good vibes.
Washer [Monthenor]
Sutton’s a lesson that everyone learns:
That nothing golden can stay,
But if you touch something in somebody’s heart
A positive vibe will remain.
~~
Dad [@SigilCrafterAya]
Sutton was one of the first of my kids
And there was no denying their shine
Whenever we win I’ll remember that grin
I’ll give them those 20’s in time
~~
Bevan [@furgat]
Sutton would ‘scape in the blink of an eye
Whenever I’d ask him to train.
But a foot off third base was his favorite place
And always he’d brighten my day
~~
Bonk Jokes [@darceyrgraham]
(represented by xylophone/percussion)
~~
Chorby Short [Shiloh Kae]
That scoundrel was faster than me by a mile
And that’s tough for a biped to do!
If I could trade anything, bring Sutton back
I’d give them a foul ball or two
~~
Glover [Monthenor]
(represented by mournful humming)
~~
Eiz [@AspenWeeping]
Sutton showed me how to do a keg stand
And that not all stealing is wrong.
Taught me to take pride in my pitch-beating stride
Now: to whom do these bases belong? (chorus: EIZ UP!)
~~
Oscar [@graveerror]
The statute of Limitations has not Yet expired
so I will not speak of our Crimes
…
(uncomfortable silence)
~~
James Mora [@OVivabee]
When I first came here the air was so cold
So different from the island I knew
But Sutton, oh you were a warmth and a light
I send all my good vibes to you
~~
Logan [Monthenor]
New growth begins as you mourn an old friend
It takes longer than you might think.
But I’ve got a hunch we’ll see Sutton again
And I would suggest you don’t blink!
~~
Inky [Valence]
Sutton was comfortable with what they were
A rascal that knew where they stood.
That’s what I admired and I miss them exactly
As much as any normal man would.
~~
Curry [Nix]
Sutton was always vibes up for a prank
The heart of an imp beating true;
Ate a peanut although we both knew they’d lose stars
Just because I dared them to!
~~
King Weatherman [@LevonErrol]
I'm a good friend of their brother Owen
A Flower for most of my life
And I know the Pickles would find it a laugh
To steal away in the night!
~~
Kurt Crueller [EtherSpace]
Now I'll lift me flagon and tip it all back
And drink to a player's sad end
To Sutton, dear Sutton, I never did know
But I'm honored to play with their friends
You've treated me kindly in your darkest hour
It's more than a player could wish
I promise I'll try to live up to their game
And I'll start with this bucket of fish!
~~
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5. |
Moss to Grow
02:57
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Another season over,
And what do I have to show?
With every single ball thrown,
A little more inside I go.
I’ve trained harder, I’ve worked smarter,
Yet still I can’t do my best -
But there’s one thing I steered clear of;
I never tried to rest.
And so I lie here, under the stars,
Awaiting myself, in the dark,
I look to my roots in Yellowstone,
Waiting for moss to grow.
My mind keeps on racing
My body aches to move
I’m not ready to slow down yet
There’s so much I have to prove
They keep saying you can rest now
But I’m scared I’ll fall behind
With so many things to do here
Do I really have the time?
And so I lie here, under the stars,
Awaiting myself, in the dark,
I look to my roots in Yellowstone,
Waiting for moss to grow.
The pines stretch high above me
A Great Horned Owl takes flight
I hear howling in the distance
I'm staying warm at my campsite
I’ve been holding my breath
For how long I don’t know
It’s time to let it out now
I’m learning to go slow
And still I lie here, under the stars,
Seeing myself, in the dark,
I made my roots in Yellowstone,
Waiting for moss to grow.
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6. |
elsewhere...
03:12
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7. |
Exert Your Will
02:41
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In the spirit of fairness
Fans shall now be able
To bend the Election
To their Will
Trust that others will do what's right
But keep your plans out of their sight
Plunder your hopes from their cold hands
Steal them back from other fans
Revoke your feelings, ignore your heart
Because we don't know how the killing starts
We all once chanted
"Many teams, one league"
But can we stand by it
With all of this fatigue
Will we stand by it
Will we stand by it
Will we stand by it
Exert your will
Take the pieces of their dreams
And use them to enrich your team
Infuse your players with what is left
After another accidental theft
Foreshadowing all of our failures
These choices altered our behaviors
We all once chanted
"Many teams, one league"
But can we stand by it
With all of this fatigue
Will we stand by it
Will we stand by it
Will we stand by it
Exert your will
We need our courses alternated
Before we're all incinerated
Exchange the copper in your mouth
For the coin instead of blood
Let's tear apart that "god" together
So that we all outlast this flood
We all once chanted
"Many teams, one league"
But can we stand by it
With all of this fatigue
We will stand by it
We will stand by it
We will stand by it
Exert your will
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8. |
Invincible
02:58
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You take a couple beanballs and then suddenly they all think you're so great
But they have no idea what it's like when you step up to that plate
Annie the Invincible, our Annie can't be beaten they all said
yeah, "Annie the Invincible," how could I not let that go to my head
Invincible
Invincible
Invincible
A cheer goes up around the park, they're on their feet, they're calling out my name
they live for every pitch, for every swing, for every run, for every game
And the umpires they don't mess with us, 'cause if they try they'll have to go through me
At least that's what I told myself, at least that's what I wanted to believe
That I'm invincible
Invincible
Invincible
Yeah, I was invincible
Invincible
Invincible
And now I'm dead!
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The ParkPark Rangers
A blaseball band from the Yellowstone National ParkPark. Please fill out the appropriate forms in triplicate via @ParkParkRangers on Twitter if you would like to join us.
As Above, So Below.
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